Toyota Owners

Posted by SuperClydesdale on September 30, 2013 under Commentary | Be the First to Comment

Solo rides give you a lot of time to think.  Nobody talking to you – its just just you and your thoughts.  I ride solo quite often, not just because I’m anti-social, but to get some good solid thinking time.  I think I’m pretty close to a cure for cancer.

Nothing interrupts a good session like a surprise from a bad driver, and I’ve noticed a pattern: Toyota drivers are the worst drivers on the planet.   Not all models, mind you, because different models seem to attract different types of drivers, but having that ugly “T” logo on the back is a sure sign of incompetence at some level.

Toyota logo:  badge of the incompetent

The badge of the incompetent driver

I think poor taste must be a strong indicator of bad driving.

Poor taste – because Toyota has become the Buick of this century.  Nothing more bland than a Toyota product, but addition to poor taste, it’s old age that is a predictor of Toyota ownership.  Toyotas are like buffets to the old folks – they just cannot resist them.    It used to be for much of my life that if you saw a Buick coming, it was “watch out!”  I think those Buick people all died — replaced by Toyota Camry drivers.  If there’s one car that is synonymous with incompetence, lack of self awareness, and probably some stage of glaucoma, it’s the Camry.   They must have coupons in AARP Magazine, or volume discount offers at assisted living centers.  Perhaps at the hospital the conversation might go something like, “well, as it turns out the glaucoma surgery is not covered by your insurance.  But, if its any consolation, I can get you a good deal on a Camry.”  Doctors used to be notorious for having “partnerships” with labs (for bloodwork, x-rays, etc) that they had an equity stake in.  I believe that the industry has clamped down on that – but nobody ever thought to make sure that they don’t have a minority stake in a nearby Toyota dealership!

I have shared my learnings (evidence is too solid to use a lesser word like “observations”) with friends and challenged them to prove me wrong.    I mostly get, “well, yeah, it makes sense – the most bland vehicle on the market, probably attracts the most bland people.”  Does bland equal incompetent?   That seems a cruel leap.  I’ve worked with many people who lack personality, but I don’t know that these people would be running me off the road.  As far as I know, Harry Reid has never committed vehicular manslaughter.    I don’t think its bland – its taste, and it’s the type of person attracted to whatever vibe Toyota’s been putting out for the last decade or so.   What do I think of when I think of a Camry or a Corolla?  Not much, really.  An amorphous blob.  Certainly, Toyota did a good job for many years selling dependability.  Apparently, that means you have to wear depends to own one?  Who values Toyota dependability above all else?  Incompetent drivers apparently.  They surely wear sensible shoes as well.

While these people might be acutely attuned to perceived quality, they apparently don’t have TV’s as they didn’t see the news stories about Toyota drivers screaming for their lives as their cars raced out of control due to accelerator problems.   Normally, its other drivers that are screaming for their lives as Toyota drivers weave by.  Slowly.

Speed is the other aspect of the incompetent driver.  Although I think that often, its just a total lack of situational awareness, and a lack of respect for other people that leads to their OJ-Simpson-style slow-speed wanderings.    They truly don’t know that 15 cars are lined up behind them, that their blinker has been stuck on since last week, that the 1000-foot buffer between them and the vehicle in front of them is only when it’s an emergency vehicle with lights & sirens blaring.

As a cyclist, it’s terrifying at times.   I had my own near-death experience with an incompetent cyclist-hating Camry driver last year.  This was before I had really thought through the Toyota thing.   Had I put two-and-two together earlier, I would have simply pulled to the side and let the oncoming Camry driver pass.  It’s really more reckless on my part for attempting to cycle on a road anywhere near a Camry driver –  what was I thinking?  It’s my fault, really.

Here’s the call to action, as I do believe that its time to act legislatively.  Call or write your legislators.  Let them know of the road rage being instigated by these…. people.   Just think of the public good, reducing the accidents that these people cause (they are never actually in the crashes they cause — like Inspector Jacques Closeau from the Pink Panther movies.  He’s totally oblivious to the chaos surrounding him, and even less aware that he’s the cause of it all).

Toyota drivers need to have a separate level of scrutiny with vehicle registrations, driving tests and renewal of driver’s licenses.    Just the fact that you own a Toyota might very well be enough to suspend driving privileges, and perhaps even drag off your butt-ugly car to the wrecking yard.  Sort of a “cash for clunkers” program, but we’ll call it “safety for the masses.”  No cash – just melt down the car so that a proper vehicle can be created.   The DMV person shouldn’t even give the Toyota owner a damn driving test.  If they go out to get in the car, and it’s a Toyota, just a “oh, I forgot my note pad.  I’ll be right back…” then call the authorities for an impound.

Now that you have been made aware of this situation, I challenge you to prove me wrong.  As Sherlock Holmes advises: don’t watch, observe (or more correctly, he admonishes, “you see, but you do not observe”).   Start seeing if you also notice this pattern.  It’s amazingly consistent.  And, something has to be done.

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